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A Plea from the Heart: The Cry of a Broken Woman printer-friendly

By Carmen Warner-Robbins, Welcome Home Ministries

I am a woman with 5 children, in prison for the 6th time.  I am tired, devastated, and broken.  My cry is coming forth to you so you might know what women like myself need, desire, and strive for as we approach release from jail and/or prison.

It is my prayer that you will not only understand, but will share this with others so they too can appreciate the challenges we face.

THE BEGINNING

For women like myself, it all begins with visitation.   Preferably, many visits will occur prior to release. Those of us who are incarcerated need your loving support, where we can come to you of our own free will.  Weekly visits would be ideal.

THE PROCESS

The visits allow each woman to gradually talk openly, share, cry and begin to develop a trusting relationship.  This is critical and it takes time, however it will evolve as we are able to continue the arranged visits.  Your visits begin to uncover our true feelings of fear, anger, abandonment and low self worth.  The trusting relationship will facilitate the development of strong roots between you and women like myself that will open lines of communication for establishing a solid relationship that carries over to our return into the community.

QUESTION OF NEEDS

While incarcerated, I have lost everything; my home, my job, all of my possessions, and most importantly my children and my sense of self worth.  Needless to say, my needs are great:

Physical Needs

Most of my physical needs are obvious, as my life style has taken it's toll on my health.  I am in need of a plan for good health care:

• There is a need for dental care and restoration to help improve my appearance and self confidence;

• There is a need for a vision exam and proper eye glasses., as I can’t see very well, and this will help when I try to enroll in any form of schooling for advanced education or GED achievement;

• Many women, like myself, have past histories of asthma, diabetes, hypertension, HIV, substance abuse or pregnancy.  These are common health needs that have been frequently ignored prior to arrest;

• The other part of our past that we don’t like to talk about is our history of mental health concerns.  This has led to self-medication, my ongoing substance abuse issue and re-incarcerations.

Spiritual Needs

Every time someone like myself is led to reach out to a Chaplain or a reentry visitor, I have come to believe that the Lord has already opened the door, and that my decision is whether to walk in or not.   What I know is that there is a hole in my life that I have been unable to fill with things of this world.  I am told that all I need to do is to surrender myself to God, and to give my life over into His care, but losing control is not an easy thing to do.  However, my life plan has not been working, so maybe it’s time to  seek the healing love of Jesus Christ. But where do I begin?  I am told that some of the important things to consider are:

• Grounding the entire visit in prayer;

• Supporting all conversation with God’s word;

• Listening, waiting and responding as the Lord opens up lines of communication, discernment and loving responses;

• Participating in Bible studies and worship services at the jail or prison;

• Inquiring about church involvement on the outside and exploring the possibilities of finding a church home; and

• Arranging to have someone pick us up upon release,  as this has always been a critical juncture, because I have no transportation, and there is the risk that I will once again fall back into the old pattern.     I will need pre-arranged transitional housing, a treatment center, or assured a safe place to reside.

In everything you do while visiting women like myself, remember the following 5 points that the women need to know:

• That you believe in them, their potential and their future;

• That you will not abandon them;

• That you will walk along side of them, although you will not do it for them;

• That there is nothing they can do that will cause you to turn your back on them; and

• That you will love them unconditionally, as Jesus loves them.

Emotional and Behavioral Needs

For many women like myself, we have never had someone that we could trust, rely on, and believe in.  To find someone who will continue to visit, will keep their promises, and be there to support us unconditionally means more that words can say.

Some of the things that mean so very much to women like myself during incarceration are:

• That we will find someone who is trustworthy;

• That there is someone who is there to encourage us;

• That there is someone who will support us and never give up on us;

• That there is someone who will help us plan for our future;

• That there is someone who will be our “sister” and support us in building a community of healing;

• That there is someone who will remain honest and trustworthy

• That there is someone who can help us in getting our children back in our lives; and

• That there is someone who will support us in seeking assistance with our mental health issues.

I have openly shared my heart and my desires with you in the hope that you will hear my heart, my plea, and my prayers for myself and for other women preparing to return to the community.  Bless you, and may you continue to make a difference with Jesus’ love.

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